Mental Exhaustion

I don't have a physical job at all. In fact, I can't have one, but that's another story. I see people every day who work hard, and I know that they're physically tired when they walk through the door of their homes each night. Work is hard. I've done my fair share of hard work in my life, although my dad and brother would never admit it! There's one thing for sure, though, and that is there is another kind of exhaustion from work -- mental exhaustion.

I hit this point several times a year after I've worked on a few projects at a time, and this is a busy time of year for me. I finished a book in December, worked on a large marketing portfolio for a firm, re-wrote another book, and am preparing for a book that I have to have finished by March 31. All the while, I'm struggling with what my next book is going to be. After going through this cycle, I feel like I need a break.

I just read an article about Michael Phelps. When he was training hard, and especially during the Beijing Olympics, he talked about the fact that all he did was swim, eat, sleep and swim, eat, sleep. By the end of the Olympics, he was so exhausted that he couldn't sleep. Then, he got off his schedule and did nothing except for capitalising off of his success, and that drained him too. Now, he's back in the pool, a little heavier, and out of shape, and he talked about how good it felt to get back on a schedule. Now he's getting to be every night at 10 - 10:30, and he has a routine. And, although he's hurting right now because he just started working out, he feels much better.

I kind of feel the same way. For the past three months, I've really done nothing but write, eat, sleep and write, eat, sleep. I've worked on so many projects at one time that it became downright debilitating, and now I'm paying for it. I'm not getting enough sleep, I'm not eating correctly, I'm not able to concentrate like I should, I'm stressing about what my next book should be about, and I feel drained all of the time.

I think all writers go through these cycles each year, especially those of us who ghostwrite so much because we are forced to live other people's lives, feel their emotions, and put their words on paper. We begin to become saturated with their lives as well as our own, and that, in itself, can be draining. But the multiplicity of thoughts has been draining as well, and that is another common concern for ghostwriters. Too much time researching, too much time in front of a computer monitor, and too much time not living life.

Fortunately, I'm coming into a position where I can get some relief. I'm now down to one project for now, while I have another sitting there to air out and breath for a few weeks. The other project is almost done, and all I have to do with it is make some minor adjustments and smooth out the transitions. So, I will hopefully be able to get on a schedule that I can stick too which will include more time with my family and less time stuck in the back office of my house typing.

I am still stressed about my book. There's no secret in the fact that my goal is to write under my name only and to stop ghostwriting and editing in the future. That will take time, but I have a goal and a direction, and I'm going to get to that point. What I'm struggling with is the topic and genre. I want this book to be a "coming-out" party where I will have an opportunity to reach a larger audience than in the stuff I've written before. Hence, you will see many "experimentations" in fiction on my website where I've explored different topics and genres. Fortunately, I've had a few people spotlight one excerpt in particular which they said they wanted to read more about, and that lets me know that it could be a winning idea.

And do you know what the best thing about it is? Well, there are two best things. The first is that it would be different from anything I've been ghostwriting about which will give me a little diversity. That's much needed at this point. The second thing is that it will be a book dedicated to my father because it's going to use bits and pieces of his military accomplishments and experiences. Right now, I don't know if it's going to be his story or not because I've never been able to get the man to talk to me about everything he did in a way that I could use it to write a book, but I have enough there to lay the ground for the time-period at least. We'll see where it goes, but I think I have something there that will reach a broad audience.

Anyway, this has been a lumbering rant about nothing really. It's been a rant from an exhausted mind. I think a day or two off in the near future will be needed. I want to take my four-year-old son on a train trip because he loves trains, and I'm thinking that it would be nice, in the very near future, to take a trip to see my parents in North Carolina -- just me and him. I'll probably take my laptop, or maybe I won't. We'll see how I feel at that time!