Defining "Hero"

I'm sorry it's been a few days since my last post. I've been fighting a nasty cold that seems to be hitting everyone lately, and I'm knee-deep in a couple of writing and editing projects. Being focused on other things and sick at the same time has kept me from serious thought of any kind, and I don't like to write about "nothing," so I've kept away from the blog. Today, however, I do have something of importance to say, so here I am.

I've been thinking a lot about the concept of "heroes" in our society and what they mean to us in general. Two things started me on this thought-process: my father's birthday which is tomorrow, January 4, and the recent bad press related to Plaxico Burress, Charles Barkley, and John Daly.

For whatever reason, Americans have always put their faith in the wrong people, and the "heroes" we choose are simply wrong. Ever since I was a kid, heroes have always been defined as the sports stars and movie stars. I have no clue as to why this is the case, but I have a suspicion that it's because of television. I don't think this was the case before the TV came into existence, although I wouldn't know it because I wasn't around during that time, and I know very few people who were, so I am guessing at this (actually, I do know a few people who were around before the TV was invented, but I'm not going to mention them because I'd hear about it later).

The question that bugs me right now and has bugged me for a long time is: what is a hero? Webster's Dictionary defines "hero" as "a man admired for his achievements and noble qualities; one that shows great courage; the central figure in an event, period, or movement; etc." The "etc." was added by me because Webster's continues to define the literary component of hero, and that doesn't apply to my question at all.

What is interesting to think about, though, is the evolution of words and definitions in our society. I guarantee you that this word has undergone many changes of definition throughout the years. I know this to be a fact. Dictionaries are updated on a continual basis in order to reflect the current definition of a word as it applies to society. Words are powerful, and they change definition quite frequently because there is no single way to define an object or event as our perceptions of those things change quite frequently.

In regard to hero, Webster's gives a definition that allows one to feel comfortable with making a Barkley, Burress, or Daly a hero because they are central figures in our "period." They are sports stars, and, being in the limelight for so long and on television all of the time, they become idols to many people, especially children.

This is nothing new. Every year or so, I hear the debates about who our children should be defining as heroes. The principle argument revolves around the sports or movie star because their lives aren't always the lives that we want our children to follow and strive for in their own lives.

I suppose that children's mimicking the lives of a "hero" is the true issue with the word , and I wish Webster's would add that somewhere in the definition. In our society, a hero is someone who children look up to and strive to be like. Remember the slogan, "Be like Mike?" That was referring to Michael Jordan. Of course, it was Nike's way of selling shoes, and the hero and brand became one. That's where we are today with our "heroes," though, and we are faced with the fact that a lot of these folks just aren't good role models for our children. I'm actually not convinced that many of these people want to be heroes either. I've heard a lot of stars claim that they don't want the role, and I respect them for saying that, but their lot in life, because of their fame, casts them into that role whether they like it or not. That's our society. Nothing else.

Through it all, though, I think the true shame is the fact that our children's heroes are not their fathers and mothers, and that shows the true breakdown of the family. If I were to guess, and I'm betting that I'm guessing correctly here, if a poll were taken every twenty years since the early 20th Century, I believe you would see that children, long ago, viewed their fathers and mothers as their heroes first. As society and society's morals began to decline around 1940, I believe you would see those statistics drop off as other people began to take the role of hero away from the parents. So, in essence, the definition of hero could be an indicator of the slow breakdown of core family values and morals. At least, that's how I look at it.

I was fortunate to have been brought up in a two-parent home, and morality and discipline were enforced in my home. Now, my parents never spanked me one time (because I was such a good boy!), but the rules were clear, and, most importantly, I was taught that I should honor my father and my mother by being obedient and by showing them respect as my parents. There was never any question about this in our family. In return for my obedience, I was given a lot of love, and I was a part of a loving family.

If you were to ask me who my hero is, I will always say "my parents." They are who I have always looked up to, and they are the role models who I want to model my life after. And as an adult, every decision I make, I always think about what my parents would do under the same circumstances.

I remember years back, I was interviewed for an article that appeared in the Boston Globe regarding my experiences at a college I was attending. When the article came out, I was disgusted because the writer wrote that I told him that my hero was Terry Bradshaw. I never said that! I could tell that my father was hurt by that statement, but I assured him that I never told the writer that Terry Bradshaw was my hero (I've learned since that journalists make up a lot of information to fill space regardless of the truth). If I were asked that question, I would have proudly said, "My Parents." Even then, I knew they were the role models I wanted to follow.

As a parent, it is my desire to make sure that I give the love and encouragement to my two boys so that they will see me as their hero as well. If they see me in that role, then I know that I have done my job. However, if they choose another person as a hero, I will know that I failed to make my mark on them somehow, somewhere. After all, I spend more time with them (Sherry included in these comments as well) than anyone else.

So, yes, I think that we can look at hero-worship as an indicator of social progress or decline, as it may be. I think that all of this talk of sports heroes and movie star heroes is an indication that the family-unit is broken. Of course, we know that the family-unit is broken in this country. My hope is that we will see improvements in this area in the years to come. I hope that America puts more emphasis on the family than it does on materialism. I hope that families, especially those with children, will stay together. I hope that children will stop having children. It goes on and on. The facts and statistics prove it all, so I do not need to belabor the point.

So, tomorrow is my father's birthday, and I would like to wish him a Happy Birthday. My father is a true hero, and he is one of my two heroes in life (my mother being the other). He is a real American hero (I could write a whole other post about this) because he spent his life serving his country. A veteran of World War II, the Korean War, and the Vietnam War, he gave everything and sacrificed a whole lot for his country. It is men like him who should become the heroes of children who have no one else to turn to as hero. He is a hero to me, not just for what he did for our country, but for what he did for me. He raised me to be the best that I could be, and he gave me every opportunity in the world. He put me first, and he loved me (and still does) with all of his heart. That is why he is my hero. And again, the same applies to my mom, but tomorrow isn't her birthday! :)

Let's all make it point to help our next generation choose better heroes. And if you're a parent, please strive to be a hero for your children!