The Year of the Family

If you've ever been to a Chinese restaurant, you've undoubtedly read the placemat that describes Chinese mythology. Every year is a year of the tiger, snake, monkey, etc. It's a fun tradition, and I can only think that it's a symbolic gesture at ushering in new hope for each new year. It does make sense. The ebb and flow of all things do exist, and if we think upon it enough, we can all relate to our "year" and symbol in one way or another.

In the United States, and throughout most of the Western world, we celebrate this attitude with our symbolic New Year's resolutions. In a way, when we make our resolutions, we're predicting the upcoming year, and we're hoping for change. Usually, it's optimistic change, and it's personal. How many times have we opted for the "losing weight" resolution? Perhaps this year, there will be other resolutions based upon the way 2008 left us. I'm sure there will be resolutions to pay down debt, recycle more, and be more careful with our investments.

I've been reflecting upon my own wishes for 2009. Of course, there's the tried and true resolutions that I am going to make. You know them as well as I do: I'm going to lose weight, get in shape, save money, pay off debts, be more industrious, etc. It's all part and parcel of everyone's wishes, I'm sure. But, it has to be done, and so I comply as usual.

However, in thinking about it more deeply, as I tend to do during times of reflection, I believe there is another resolution that needs to be at center-stage for all Americans during 2009. It concerns the family. I think that we need to make it our first resolution to put our family first at all times during this upcoming year.

It's easy to get lost in the fog of work, duties, and hobbies. We have so many distractions, and they all get in the way of family. TV, games, work, exercise, golf, reading, writing, etc. -- whatever your passion, it's very easy to let them overtake you. And when that happens, suddenly, and without knowing it, those who suffer are your family. What makes it so doggone difficult is that it affects everyone in the family because everyone in the family has their own interests and activities, so it's like pulling on a rope in four different directions (if there are four members of the family, that is).

When you think about it, the most important social unit of our culture is the family. I believe that many of the problems we face in our world are due to the breakdown of the familial unit. Crime, drug abuse, stress... they are all due, in part or whole, to the lack of strength of the family.

If I were to make one wish for the United States, and if that wish could come true, it would be that we would make the family-unit stronger. Our new President preaches unification, but you cannot have unification of the whole unless the family unifies first since the family is the basic unit of the whole.

We need a society that places strong emphasis on family values. Parents must stay together, children must stop having children, parents must stay involved and must start putting their children first. I know that these are not popular statements, but they are true, and if you compare the decline of our social values to the decline in family values, you will see the decline in many other areas such as the economy, crime, etc. You see, it all boils down to the family.

We can only do our own part. For me, that means strengthening my own family. This year, I'm going to be putting God back into our family in full-force. I want my children exposed to the teachings of the Bible. In addition, I'm going to put myself in the rightful position as head of the family by being, not the head, but the tail. Yes, you read that correctly. As head of my family, I should be the last in all things. My children should come first. Their needs must be met first. I must endeavor to lead them to life's lessons, correct their mistakes, encourage their exploration, and give them every opportunity available. For my wife, I must make it a point to encourage her interests, accept her role as a partner in raising our children, let her have her freedoms to enjoy life beyond the children, and give her all opportunities to have freedom beyond the confines of our home's walls.

Of course, with all things family, there are problems that will arise. Many times in the United States, families fall apart due to problems. Divorce is much too high, and that just leads us down the path of social instability. Too many children are being raised without both parent's leadership, and that only leads to problems. Although not on shaky ground, my family is not void of its own problems, but I endeavor to pursue a path that is correct by creating an atmosphere of respect and reconciliation rather than an atmosphere of right and wrong.

Our priest said it best when he said that, to keep the family together, we must treat the family as a confessional rather than a dictatorship. In a dictatorship, someone wins, and someone loses, and the family falls apart under that scenario. As a confessional, reconciliation is the key component. Each member of the family is called into reflection as to their role, their strengths, and their weaknesses, and the family is strengthened because it works as a whole to heal itself through tough times.

As the father and husband, I see this as most pertinent. It is very easy to become confrontational with my wife and my children. It is very easy to fight to win the battle. We all know, though, that winning the battle can lose the war. Instead of waging war, isn't it much better to seek peace? Isn't it much better to work for unity? None of us are perfect in our family roles. Children will be children, I will be me, and Sherry will be her. We have our own strengths and weaknesses, and the best way to resolve any conflict is to understand our strengths and weaknesses, working towards intensifying the strengths and correcting the weaknesses.

If every family in America would do this, we would have a much stronger nation. We would be much happier, more prosperous, and more prone to negotiate peace among each other, and maybe even peace throughout the world. Who knows? But I do know it all begins with the family. There is a reason why God extols the virtues of the family in both the Old Testament and the New Testament. The wisdom of the ages tell us that all things good and evil originate within the family.

I've done a pretty lousy job of mixing my personal reflections with universal hopes, but my hope is that you'll see that my goal of strengthening my family is part of my hope for our civilization. Let's make 2009 "The Year of the Family," and let's not falter on making it work. Losing the "battle of the bulge" is one thing, but losing the family is never an option.

For the most part, my family is already strong. There are no fears of loss, but my goal is to continue to make it stronger and to make each year a better one than the last. I hope you are in that position as well. We all know those, however, who are in desperate situations with their family. It is broken, and it is about to fall apart. However we can help, we should, because, with each family lost, more of the next generation is lost, and that is what we need to stop.